Tuesday, June 29, 2010

you've left me speechless.

"Ra ah, Ra ah ah! Roma, Ro ma ma! Gaga, oh la la! I want your bad romance!"

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Jordan, x.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

holidays.

Once again guys,
end of term holidays are now on!
I have a feeling, that I will ruin my life sort of again..
Term one holidays did.
Yes indeed they did!

So, yeah, safety messages.
Drive safe, don't get too fat, don't hurt yourselves, don't die, don't get eaten by a killer whale, don't get one of your toes chopped off, don't get killed by Freddy Kruger in your dreams and if you're about too, do what the movie says, take all energy from your thoughts of Freddy, it should be sure too get rid of that douchebag. For a couple of years at least. All that jazz!

Also in the holidays;
do something interesting, change your look, tell me something that you do that the social norm wouldn't, live with no strings attached for a while. Come on guys, have a good time, we only live once... Unless you believe in the afterlife and all that stuff.

Love you guys.
Jordan, x.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

yep

your bigger then might joe, well atleast you think so.

life once again you have disapointed me thats why im not bothering putting punctuation in this sentence really as i dont like you at the moment and you dont like me im not gunna put in the effort and make my writing look okay for the readers out there i really hope you dont die before this end of this i hate you life you always disapoint me thanks

why try so hard in life when we all come out dead anyway

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

it's such a good vibration!

The song 'Good Vibrations' that the t.v show Glee covered,
generally makes me happy on the inside.
But as soon as I take out my ear phones and collect my hearing,
I'm back in the real world.
The world where I'd rather run myself in to a wall and go in to a coma and dream about stuff then be in.
Weird, I know. But I don't care. I'm over it.
It's the same with dance,
as soon as I stop dancing and walk outside,
I'm once again, back in the real world.
You know what is really annoying about our world;
Humans strive for everything possible and put there life in to it,
but come on guys,
if you put your life work in to something that you probably won't even use,
it's practical suicide.
It's like smoking yourself to death, but with knowledge...

Jordan, x.


Friday, June 18, 2010

Status, a drama term.

I don't fit in anymore,
maybe I need to change?
I don't like school,
I never used to mind going and I did look forward to breaks.
Now I don't care if I'm in class, dancing at lunch times, even in detention,
it keeps me away from attempting to be social.
I don't even think I'm good enough anymore.
Yeah, not good enough,
that is what I'm used to anyway.
Why am I even complaining?
I've never really had many friends and I'm not used to it.
I don't like it.
I'm not used to have certain ways and standards to have friends.
I don't like myself anymore.

Jordan, x.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

SOSE Speech

To be honest, a speech on music from the Middle Ages and its rapid change from then to now and the continuance of striving for knowledge from then to now, is pretty much irrelevant and not really going to help me out in future life, unless I get in to a intense conversation about music or knowledge in the Middle Ages. I know this may sound like any teenagers excuse to get out of a speech on a subject they don’t like, but honestly, people in my class, think about it, did this unit of work really help you?

Yes, some of you are interested in the armour and weapons area of this unit, but unfortunately, your not really going to get use those weapons or wear the armour in your lives, unless the world has some huge decline of technology and shuts down all of a sudden and we start living like they did. Why do we want learn about centuries of civilisation, when they died off because of some tuberculosis or some swollen glands, when they threw random accusations of people apparently being witches, getting sick was practically pay back for all your sins even though priests died from the so-called plague and punishment was torturing people like the main character out of the movie series ‘Saw’ would?

It honestly killed me on the inside when I saw the jousting competition shown on the TV’s ‘the 7pm Project’. It killed me on the inside because, we live in the 21st century for a reason, if we wanted to joust, wear silly clothes and dance around to instrumental music like the silly people they looked to be, we wouldn’t have moved on from that time in civilisation. People made the inventions they did to get out of the mentality of living like that. No offence to be people who want to be different, but those people weren’t from the middle Ages, why would they attempt to relive them on an oval with a jousting competition, I don’t want to persuade people to change, but those people should embrace the future, we make these things for a reason, for humans to embrace, then we make better things. My opinion is; that they should get used to the 21st century, because it’s highly doubtful that we will go back to jousting, burning witches and young people dying from flu’s.

In conclusion, the middle ages, were a very, very dark time for everyone and there stupidity.

Thanks for listening.

Dare me too ?

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

It's been a while... Again.

I honestly don't have much to tell you.
My life has been average lately.
Nothing too bad, except one minor thing, nothing too good.
I'm just generally not happy.
One thing I'm scared of is over-thinking of the future.
Which I am starting to do.
I am also scared of birds...
Future. Future. Future.
I can see a big failure ahead of me,
can't you?

Jordan, x.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

It's strange.
I just can't be bothered anymore,
with anything.
Yes, I said tiredness is a weakness,
but I'm constantly tired, I can't be bothered for anything anymore.
I think the tiredness is keeping up an image.
The image of pretending,
I'm pretending to be happy where I am.
Ugh. School. Friends. Family.
Fail.
I don't know if it's just me.
But ohwell, I don't care.
I'm not keeping up an image I have been lately,
I can't be fucked.
Fucking hell.
FUCK.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

wonder.

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Have you ever wondered;
why life is what it is?

It crosses my mind everyday.
People say; Life is what you make it.
I don't know if I can agree.
Because you don't make life to be disapointing,
but it still disapoints you.
I have no idea why.
I think from February,
my life is kind of been a bit wierd, different to what it used to be.
It is really kind of annoying.
I don't like it, but theres no way I can turn back time.
Nearly everyday I say to myself,
"If I could turn back time, I wouldn't of done that. I wouldn't of talked to this person" and so on.
I don't regret it, but I don't enjoy looking back on it.
However, mistakes help you realise not what to do later on in life, right?

This is going nowwhere,
I have no inspiration whatsoever and my imagination is at an all time low.
Well, I do have inspiration, but I just don't want to write about it.
I'm so boring lately, whats wrong with me?
I need something to happen, a look in to complexity or to take in the beauty from the simpler things?


Jordan, x.

To be completely honest with you;

Please, just build a Bridge to Terabithia and get over it.
You blame everyone else for your issues,
and you don't even care.
You turn things around and make the other person seem so much worse,
I would know.
I really think you should learn to stop doing this,
it just makes you seem arrogant.
Take the hint.
Do it,
I dare you.


Jordan, x.

Monday, June 7, 2010

i left my head and my heart on the dance floor

I said, in a few posts down, the one titled with all the bands.
'I'm fighting for love, I think, I have already lost.'
I kind of feel the need to expand on this a little,
but I don't know how exactly.

One of my bestfriends and me, have talked about this multiple times and I think she has got through to me now.
You have left it too late, way too late,
and being the idiot that I am, I've finally just realised.
I've wasted time.
I know I talk about it being fate for wasting time and it can be for the better, but this time, it wasn't.
I don't care anymore, but I still want too.
I'm contridicting myself now,
I need to stop writing, even thinking about it.
Brain dead.


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Jordan, x.

fear.

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When you try your best but you don't succeed, when you get what you want but not what you need, when you feel so tired but you can't sleep. Stuck in reverse.
- Coldplay - Fix you.

fix me?


Jordan, x.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

It's been a little while.

The dawn is breaking, a light shining through, you're barely waking and I'm tangled up in you, yeah, I'm open, you're closed, where I follow, you'll go, I worry I won't see your face, light up again, even the best fall down sometimes, even the wrong words seem to rhyme, out of the doubt that fills my mind, I somehow find you and I collide, I'm quiet you know, you make a first impression, I've found I'm scared to know, I'm always on your mind, even the best fall down sometimes, even the stars refuse to shine, out of the back you fall in time, I somehow find you and I collide, don't stop here, I lost my place, I'm close behind, even the best fall down sometimes, even the wrong words seem to rhyme, out of the doubt that fills your mind. You finally find you and I collide.
- Howie Day - Collide.

I sit here thinking;
Why am I who I am?
What makes me, me?
Will I be somebody?
Or will I be a nobody?
Famous or Infamous?
Will I have a future?
Or will I have some average life, not living the way I've always wanted to?

As I attempt to ask the questions,
one comes in to my head,
Am I already that mediocre, average, satisfactory person I am afraid to become?
It upsets me, to think that.
I don't know,
what do you think?

I may not throw myself in to things and I always get nervous when I do something a little out of my square,
But I have no idea, if I actually am, what I think I am.
I know this may make no sense to you whatsoever.
I just want to break free, different is in these days,
and to actually be different, from the different that is in, you actually have to go extents.
Extents that I'm not willing too.

Maybe this is just one of my many problems within myself,
which all I can do is write about it.
Will it get me anywhere?
I don't think so, I actually don't know.
I don't know anything really anymore.
I know I may only be fourteen going on fifteen,
but thinking of the future worries me.
I'm not exactly academically smart,
or overally creative,
and my confidence is at a pretty low level.

So, I don't know.
Those three words seem to be the only ones in my vocabulary lately.
I don't want to think of future,
I love thinking of the past, but remembering about it is bad for you,
and the present, I don't know why they call it the present, it barely is one.
I don't know.

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- Get me out of the mentality of mediocracy. Please.

Jordan, x.